Lane assist is on.

I’ve been thinkin’ about “self-care.”  And about how it’s kind of a crock.  Feeling tired?  Go get yourself a massage.  Feeling stressed?  A manicure can fix that.  Feeling sad?  Go take a yoga class.  All those things might be useful if you have the means to do so, and the time in your schedule (and childcare, if applicable).  For something that is meant to help you feel better, it sure can feel like one more thing to add to the to-do list.

However, one could argue, these ways of spending your time are not self-care.  They’re an intervention when we’re already feeling stressed.  A band-aid when the wound is already infected.  (Yes, it’s true that some people attend yoga or get manicures/massages on a more regular basis to keep their baseline stress level low. But, I’m guessing your average Joe/Josie receives these sorts of suggestions for “self-care” only when they express to a loved one that they’re feeling more stressed than normal.)  True self-care on the other hand, one could surmise, is more preventative in nature.  It’s the tough conversation we have with a friend to work out a conflict rather than sweeping it under the rug.  It’s the boundary we set at work to maintain some sense of balance.  It’s the budget we stick to, even when that dinner out might be nice, to prevent undue stress down the road.

So where does therapy fit into the multi-tiered approach to wellness? In some cases, therapy is the intervention. We’re already in triage mode and we need to take immediate action to prevent further damage. But, in many cases, therapy is the prevention: we recognize old patterns that got us into trouble and we want to ensure those same issues don’t re-emerge. Or, we need some assistance thinking through boundaries when putting them into place for the first time. It’s like this: you know how newer vehicles have this handy tool that beeps when we’re drifting out of our lane? Or maybe a light flashes when a car is in our blind spot. Yeah, therapy is the lane assist.