Summer Mom Guilt

Nearly every mom I’ve spoken with this summer has had that glazed over look at some point or another.  When I dig in a bit, what’s overwhelming them is how tricky summer scheduling can be.  Throw in multiple kids’ schedules, and/or a working parent’s demands, and you can easily feel that you’ve “wasted” our precious summer days looking at your Google Puzzle.  I mean, Google calendar.  And, if you live in the North Shore of Chicago, you know the feeling of looking out the window in mid-January, daydreaming about how magical summer will be for you and your family.  So, when it feels that those plans are not coming to fruition, in creeps our old friend “Mom guilt.”  I’d even argue that this guilt is more intense this summer, coming off of 16 months of a pandemic and all the let downs and rules that came with it.

Enter Therapist Lynn Lyon’s podcast, “Flusterclux,” and her recent episode, “Take a Vacation From Mom Guilt.”  Lynn seems to know that the moms who struggle with this nagging variety of guilt also are short on time.  She brilliantly made this podcast a mere 8 minutes and 54 seconds.  You can probably listen en route to a camp pick up.

While Lynn reminds us that guilt has its place and “reminds us that we’re not psychopaths,” she helpfully suggests we don’t “apply guilt when other emotions will fill the bill.”  She gives the example of a parent who needs to work over the summer and might feel guilty they’re not there to take their kids to the beach.  When we dig a little deeper, we can ask ourselves, is the feeling more accurately described as sadness?  Let’s reserve guilt for motivating us to make amends for something we did wrong.  

Without thinking too hard, reflect for a moment on a super special memory from your own childhood.  I’m guessing most likely that the memory was a fleeting one.  Maybe an ice cream cone on a hot day.  Or an activity you did on a vacation.  Lynn also reminds us that moments are what create memories- not entire weeks or entire summers.  So let yourself off the hook if not every moment in this summer of transition is picture perfect and instead make a mental note of the special moments.